A couple of months ago I was having one
of those rambling bar conversations – one that covers a lot of
ground, follows no logical lines, and that you often don't remember
the next day. In this particular conversation, though, one idea
remained with me, and since I didn't feel like I responded to it
eloquently then*, I decided to start this blog and articulate my
thoughts here.
The idea that grew into a particularly
persistent mind-worm was this - “Atheist” is the only word we use
to define someone based entirely on what they are not. That
religion/ faith can be such a narrowly defined, and often divisive
aspect of our lives that we had to come up with a separate word to
label people who don't fall into its (often) rigid parameters. We
don't define someone's race/gender/nationality/job by the things they
aren't, and if they exist outside of the limited number of boxes we
have available we allow them to just use “other” or even
“questioning”, mainly because at some point we realized the words
we used describing people by what they aren't were offensive or
dismissive.
What is perhaps more frustrating is
that we still feel the need to sort people into a certain boxes based
entirely on ideas so broad and nebulous that the greatest minds of
recorded history have perpetually struggled with them. So why are we
still trying to define people by these over-simplified terms? And
what do we honestly learn about another person from this one word?
Whatever word you use in this category matters infinitely less than
how you actually behave in the word. Honestly, I don't care if
you're a decent, thoughtful person because of your belief in God, or
Buddha or an invisible anus**, or because of the moral code you've
created on your own. As long as you live your life in a way that
doesn't make things worse for anyone else, and that includes
intelligence and kindness, then the dogma and creeds and behind the
scenes beliefs don't really matter.
If you need someone to define
themselves by what they don't believe/ are not just to make things
easier for you, then maybe it's time to examine why you need those
definitions. And if you're discounting people because they don't fit
into this one aspect of life that you need so specifically defined
then chances are you're missing out on some amazing people and the
myriad ideas they bring with them.
Hopefully we're nearing a time when we
can move past this desire to sort people by any one-word,
box-on-a-form descriptor. None of these words can help you determine
a person's worth, or their place in your life, or their value in
society.
And if we're all honest, isn't it
infinitely more interesting to surround yourself with people who
don't define themselves narrowly in any aspect of their lives? The
ones who bring new ideas, new perspectives, a completely different
background and allow you to see worlds you previously couldn't
imagine – those are the people I want around me, to have rambling
conversations with in a bar, wherever life may lead us.
*Unfortunately I had lost about 50 I.Q.
points due to close proximity to vodka and a person I find incredibly
attractive. I'm sure I came off like a complete idiot.
** See Patton Oswalt's The Invisible
Anus from his album Finest Hour. In
fact, just listen to the whole album, he's hilarious.
